Tough Mudder - my toughest challenge yet!



Mid Mudder!

Right now, I’m sitting in my bed, with barely functional legs and my race number still partially visible on my arm. Even though walking is a little bit of an issue, I feel both proud and relieved. For yesterday I undertook the challenge that I have been training towards for the best part of six months – the Tough Mudder! Hoo-ra!!! Ahem, excuse me, got a little carried away there. This race consists of just under 12 miles, and 22 kickass obstacles. So, the big question is, after so much anticipation, how did I rate it?

Starting out with beautiful weather, it turned just about 40 minutes before my start time, with torrential rain appearing out of nowhere! This was the weather I started the Tough Mudder in, but as I went along, this did alternate with sunny and cloudy periods. But before we started, we had to get warmed up! The warm up was short with lots of focus on team spirit (I had to hug, hand hold and kiss the cheek of a random bloke next to me!). Then we were required to take the Tough Mudder pledge, which focuses on bravery and team spirit. We were told that the signal for someone that needs assistance is them holding their arms in an X above their head, and if we see it we should do the same so the course Marshalls notice and can help. Then there was some mildly disturbing encouragement to chant out retail brand names, which I did not join in with.

Tough Mudder has a witty sense of humor

The course overall, as expected, was extremely muddy and slippery! At some points, not one single person was able to run without tasting the mud. At others, you could get a sort of half speed awkward trot over the mud. Many people were sliding down on their bum on the downhill mud, a technique I embraced with no care to any aspect of dignity; when it’s this muddy, avoiding accidental injury is the main aim! At one point, I saw a guy try to use a large branch as a sort of walking stick – he slipped almost instantly and came very close to impaling himself on it. Luckily he abandoned his stick after that close call. There were also good sections with more grip. These were drier parts of the country trail, gravel paths and some roads that wound very close to the event village. These are absolutely vital in my opinion to create an opportunity to build up some body heat. Dipping in and out of rivers was par for the course, and also several of the obstacles are water obstacles, so it was easy to get cold quickly if you weren’t aware of this creeping up on you. I spoke to one person whose friend had been taken off of the course with first stage hypothermia, and I very much doubt they were the only one. Comedy signs were set up all the place, with witticisms such as “If you’re huffing and puffing now, we feel sorry for your better half!” and “Get running, my Grandma just passed you.” At about a third of the obstacles speakers had been set up to blast music out, which is very motivational! At the more dangerous ones Marshalls and standby paramedics were present. The Marshalls would cheer you on, encourage you and also reassure you if you were a bit freaked out (as I frequently was during this event!). Everyone was looking out for everyone else on the course – it was the friendliest race I’ve ever run in! If you look like you’re flagging, have difficulty with an obstacle, are limping or have stopped, guaranteed everyone running past would pause to check you were okay. It’s actually bringing a tear to my eye thinking about it (I blame the fatigue!). At the obstacles swathes of runners were waiting for five minutes past their completion of it to help those behind them, even those not in their team. In my case, I found it difficult to haul 80kg guys up the Berlin Walls, but I did stop at a few riverbeds to provide a sure handhold for those coming up behind me. The water and refreshments stands were amazing at this event! I lost count of how many there were, but they came up so often I was never in too much risk of cramp from low fuel. They had half bananas and water tanks. At one of the final stands, a Marshall offered to feed me the banana as I was so muddy! Unfortunately I had eaten so much mud by then I literally couldn’t have cared less about food hygiene! So I took it with my muddy glove and devoured it. Let’s just say it was, um, a little crunchier than bananas usually are. Near the end of the course the route went straight through a field of sheep, which were running about with their lambs in tow. One ewe was making a beeline for runners, and only a panicked sprint took me out of her path – do not mess with mothering ewes, just trust me on that! Plus, my mum used to foster a female sheep, I can tell you being head butted by one hurts quite a lot! Would be interested if anyone didn’t manage to avoid the sheep on the unofficial 23^rd obstacle, Gauntlet of Sheep.

But this is the Tough Mudder, and I know what you guys really want to read about – the obstacles! For those of you that have just completed one, you may be nodding in agreement. For those of you about to run one, this should be a good way to swot up on what to expect!

Arctic Enema

The very first obstacle. Yup! This obstacle requires you to jump into a pit of freezing water, and then duck your head under a wooden board with barbed wire on top. So I thought it was lovely that they put it right at the start where you would have no chance to warm up (note sarcasm). I did ice water swimming in preparation for this, so I was aware that jumping into ice water is roughly akin to jumping into a large bucket full of acid. When I got to the top of the step I could see the dip was narrow enough to allow you to use the sides to swing yourself further out before you dropped into the water. You can’t hesitate, you can’t think. Without pause I swung myself out and down – splash! My head went under the water for a split second as I landed, then I bobbed up, gasping. There were no actual chunks of floating ice as I have seen in videos of previous Tough Mudders. But I think it’s possible they had melted slightly from others going through. But believe me, it was plenty cold! Now I was in front of the middle board. Here it is possible to get stuck. The longer you stand there, the more everything freezes, the more you can’t work up the courage to dunk your head. I took one, two, three deep breaths, then...UNDER! Once on the other side it is just a matter of sploshing to the other side and hauling yourself out. A great thing about the cold is that afterwards for about a mile your legs feel great and unstoppable (because they are numb!).



The freezing cold ice bucket!

Kiss of mud

This is a crawl through a muddy lane with barbed wire above and around you. It is flanked either side by almost swamp like conditions that came right up to my knees. I found this one pretty easy, and even had a sort of unspoken race with the guy crawling one lane over from me. I won – just saying. :P

Walk the Plank

This is a jump from a 15 foot high tower into a deep body of water. Anyone who has known me for more than about ten minutes is aware I have quite a crippling fear of heights, so as we went up the steps I found myself chanting “Oh God, oh God, oh God...”. They pair you up for the jump on adjacent edges, I presume it’s so that the other person can call out if you’re in the middle of drowning. Here the Marshalls are right at the end of the drop too, giving people stop or go signals. Well, if you were jump too soon, you would land straight on top of another person who’s still struggling to the surface! As I got right up to the drop I knew I couldn’t do it, but another part of me (possibly my Tough Mudderness, if there is such a thing!) overrode that, and before I knew it, I had jumped! Straight down I went, then I was underwater. Water was pushed into my nose as I entered the water, though I think I had the foresight to close my mouth and my eyes. In this moment, another from long ago flashed up in my memory. In my teens, I had gone white water rafting with my sister, and at one point the whole boat tipped back and delivered everyone into the raging stream. I fell upside down, and had no knowledge of which way was up or down to know which way to kick. Then my lifejacket brought me to the surface. This time, I had no lifejacket, but a lot more wherewithal. A couple of hard kicks and I broke the surface with a surge of relief. Then only a few strokes brought me close to the net and I hauled myself out, coughing and spluttering.

Island Hopping

These are wobbly islands kept in line by a strong length of rope. As you jump from island to island, they can buck sideways or sink completely under just by virtue of their instability. A sign on the side of them said “If you fall off, stay off!” In that case, you have to swim the rest of the river across. I knew my relatively light weight would help me here. I easily jumped across to each one, landing in a crouch then moving over to the next. The final jump across to the riverbed was slightly too far for my ability, so a short wade at that point saw me safely on the other side.

Glory blades

These are climbing walls, but they have been inverted towards you so you have to climb at a leaning back angle, and then (in my case, anyway) do an undignified belly slide on the other side. Many people were boosting or pulling each other up these.

Underwater tunnels

Rows of plastic barrels are strung together, and floated over water. Then you have to make your way under them. The main risk here was the time underwater was much longer than for the head dip of arctic enema. Many people were lifting themselves up or feeling underneath to check the distance. On the first set I came up too soon and bashed my head. Then had to keep going underwater without screaming! I felt a little disorientated when I came up from it. If anyone has ever tried to surface only to find something above them, they will know how frickin’ horrible it is! For the others I was a little more careful and swam further to clear the barrels.

Human Gecko



This is essentially a climbing wall spanning sideways over a body of water. I was still a little freaked out from the other water obstacles, so didn’t fancy going in again. So I didn’t half grip tight as I edged my way across. From all around I could hear sudden splashes and cheers as person after person took an unexpected dunk. I actually think my ice climbing helped a little bit here. As others were being directed this way or that by helpful Mudders around them, I could see the path pretty clearly, so only had to focus on keeping a good grip. I would say this is the one obstacle which tested my arm strength the most, mostly because of my bloody minded determination.

 

Electric Eel

No. Who the hell thought this shit up?? A thin layer of water with electrical wires hanging above it. Tough Mudder had a bypass for those who had metal plates or pacemakers in their body, but unfortunately I had to go through. I can tell you right now that being shocked makes your whole body spasm in a very unpleasant way. If it’s bad enough a face plant is very possible. I crawled through on my belly and each time I got shocked, let out a frankly bloodcurdling scream. On the right of me a guy shot through, accidentally swinging all of the wires towards me. This brought me very close to the tears, and I’m fairly sure I swore profusely at him! Even after my torrent of screaming, he still stayed to guide me through the rest and even held the final one aside for me! Blimey! All is forgiven, dude.

Boa Constrictor

Tunnels with a thin layer of water at the bottom. Obviously designed to be able to accommodate the bulkiest of men if he was writhing through on his stomach, I found myself able to crawl happily on hands and knees! A fun and fast obstacle.

Dirty Ballerina

Imagine large pits you have to jump across. Imagine about seven of them. Imagine treacherous muddy landings. Now imagine that if you don’t do it fast enough, someone with slightly more enthusiasm than foresight is going to go barrelling into the back of you. Yeah. Ever aware of the risk, I went across as fast as I possibly could, almost sliding into the pits in front with my landings. I saw one girl do some incredibly painful looking splits with one foot on top and one in the pit, then go limping off onto the side.

Firewalker

This was meant to be leaping through fiery and smoky pits. In fact, I can see in some pictures that other people did do it. But when I arrived at this obstacle there seemed to be no clear way into it, and all the runners went around the side. Not sure if they closed it or there was just some confusion? Shame.

Getting down and muddy

 

The Mud Miles

There were two of these, and can I say hands down my favourite bit of the course! Just basically alternating piles of mud and muddy water, up and down, up and down. Scrambling up and down these was so fun. On the first mud mile I saw several people doing the arm X that was described earlier, but I couldn’t see who the person in distress was! Hopefully, they were helped, after about half a minute all the Xs went down. On the second mud mile I felt a little guilty as I saw a confused beetle splashing about in the mud pit, but didn’t stop to rescue him like I normally would. Hope he survived the Tough Mudder!

Trench Warfare

 A belly crawl through an enclosed muddy trench. What they don’t tell you is the floor of the trench is covered with jaggy rocks. Painful!

Hold Your Wood

A short log carry up and around a hill. There were little logs for us loners, and long ones for the teams. Damn my bony shoulders! I shouldered it for about halfway, swapped shoulders, then ended up carrying it like a precious handbag clutched to my chest. Still, I’m very glad I practiced this one.

Log Jammin’

A simple obstacle in which you have to climb up a wall of logs, then duck under the next one, a few times in a row.

Hero Carry

In this obstacle you have to pick up another person and carry them through the section. As I approached this I was running alongside a team of burley men who were regarding the approaching section with some apparent dread. “So” I said “I weigh 50 Kilograms. Who wants to carry me?”

“Dibs!” came a voice back very quickly. Taking a fire-fighter’s hold on me, we started off. What I actually hadn’t realised was that we were supposed to swap halfway! Until one of his friends informed me... “Are we realistically going to swap?” I asked the brave Mudder carrying me. “I weigh 14 stone” He replied. For those of you trying to convert this, it’s almost 90 Kilograms, or the same weight as a small lion. We decided to keep the carry one way.

Hero Walls

These are just massive 12 foot walls, with no way to grip, and covered in mud from other Mudders. Here, my thanks have go out to the team with the pink tassley t-shirts, who basically bodily hauled me up two of them, and called me a ‘Beast’ for running the Tough Mudder solo. I only saw one person get up these walls on their own. ONE, and I must have watched a hundred people go through. This is truly a team obstacle.

Funky Monkey

Monkey bars! Oh, but not just monkey bars. Monkey bars greased with god knows what, and suspended above yet another muddy dip. It took me only 2 bars before I got reacquainted with the water. I saw several people make it across, but a lot of people fall 6 or 7 bars in. No women made it right across the bars when I was there, but I’m sure they did over the course of the day.

Cage crawl

This is a new obstacle for Tough Mudder as far as I’m aware, and a very inventive one! Ditches of muddy water have a long section of cage wire placed over them. The water goes very close to the cage so you have to get on your back, let your legs trail along behind you and pull yourself along with your hands on the wire above you. A few pulls in, the water level raises and covers your ears, so only the very front of your face is not submerged. Once you’re halfway through the trench there is no way out. It’s all enclosed, and someone has already started behind you. If you stop, they’re going to bump into you with their head and you’ll both panic. So even though I could feel rising panic and fear, I just kept going. Some of these trenches were dyed colours such as red or green, so on the other side the ground was a kaleidoscope of all the colours!

Everest

Ahh, the infamous Everest. I bet that if you are interested in Tough Mudder, you have already heard of this and seen videos aplenty. But for those that haven’t, it is basically a huge curved wall. The aim is to sprint at the wall with your arms raised, and one of helpful Mudders at the top will grab you and pull you up. A commentator was on the wall, cheering on the Mudders and reassigning those helping at the top so it was an even spread. It was taking many people multiple attempts to get up, so there was a long queue for it. It was here that many people began to seriously feel the wind bite them. People were jumping up and down to stay warm. I felt it myself, and started shivering. I was just hoping I got my chance at Everest before all my muscle coordination had gone. To improve the grip, I rolled up my sleeves, and dried my hands and arms on the nearby grass. Then, finally it was my turn! I sprinted at the wall as hard as I could, and managed to grab two guy’s arms. They pulled me partway, then a third grabbed my leg and they rolled me up!

Electroshock Therapy

A short section of hanging electrical wires. You’re supposed to dash through bravely, but having had my first taste of what being shocked felt like earlier I tried to use a duck and dive technique. Sliding through the mud on my belly still didn’t help me however. I got shocked several times, each feeling worse than the last.  Not as bad as the later runners though, who had to deal with a large tank sprinkling water over them as they went through!

Finally I made it through, and went through the finish banner. In total, the Tough Mudder course had taken me 4 and a half hours! Immediately I burst into tears, a combination I think of fatigue, relief and quite how much I actually hate being shocked. A group of people gave me a big hug, an example of the amazing sense of community there was.



Extremely emotional at the end of Tough Mudder!

Now, think carefully. Has this made you want to do a Tough Mudder? If so, great! But make sure you prepare long and hard for it. This is no easy feat, and if you enter without adequate training you more than likely will feel miserable after the first 3 miles. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were aspects where you definitely need, as Tough Mudder puts it, ‘Mental grit’. But if you’re sure you have it, great! I’ll see you at the next Tough Mudder! ;)

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